Living Balance

 

My inner healing journey ....and how Kinesiology found me......

​Around 11 years ago, I lost my mum tragically which at the same time also sent me on a transformational journey of self-discovery to seek clarity around some unresolved, unexpressed childhood trauma of my own.

 

Only 2 weeks prior to her sudden passing, I also had given birth to my only daughter Skylah. As a result of 3 major life changing events in my life, I suffered deep emotional stress, grief & anxiety which was later explained to me as a traumatic response to my life; or complex PTSD.

 

My marriage broke down around the same time, which caused me to lose a dramatic amount of weight, and I consistently felt drained, fatigued and depleted of energy. Adrenal fatigue was still relatively misunderstood at that time, so being prescribed anti-depressants and advised to seek the help of a psychologist was pretty standard practice.

 

A marriage separation, sudden death of my mum, left to raise 3 small children (1 being an infant) on my own as a solo parent was overwhelmingly hard on me and in that fragile state, I knew I was crumbling under the weight of it all, especially with the emotional burden it had left behind. My inner light had dimmed dramatically.

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​Despite my efforts of trying almost everything and everything possible to find answers to my extreme fatigue and energy depletion, I became more and more frustrated, feeling totally powerless. I had become conditioned to feeling daily pain, exhaustion and depletion of energy that I literally had zero energy to even give to it anymore.

 

I felt trapped in a body that was no longer serving me; whilst being mentally and physically exhausted and depleted to even know where to look for answers.​​

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It took me reaching the lowest point in my life; physically, mentally and emotionally and having what I can only describe now as a mental and emotional breakdown, to finally 'wake up' & go in search of some real answers. I was on this endless mission to restore balance back into a body that had become virtually a shadow of itself. 

 

I longed to return to my former, vibrant self. I felt lost, disconnected, and a shadow of my former self. 

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I finally found my answers through a gifted practitioner, who combined kinesiology and remedial massage to help unpack what had been sitting at the core of my health issues and had been re activated through intense levels of stress.

 

It opened me up to unlocking and releasing a great deal of other suppressed, unhealed trauma from my past, and some deep-seated mental conditioning I had lived with for the majority of my life.

 

Growing up with a verbally abusive, narcissistic father, and a mother who fell prey to his manipulation and control over the years, set me up for several dysfunctional relationships to follow. Later in life, my mum also suffered severe substance abuse and addiction to mask her own internal pain which also took her life abruptly.

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So being in a volatile environment with an extremely low self-esteem and sense of self-worth, it led me to make poor choices in my relationships and adopt the people pleaser syndrome to avoid conflict and confrontation. I discovered the roots of my trauma had stemmed from a dysfunctional upbringing and childhood. So it was from this place that I started to dismantle it one piece at a time.

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My mum passing so suddenly I know now was the trigger that caused the downward spiral and turned on a 'faucet of pain', figuratively speaking, for which everything I had safely and carefully hidden from the world for so long suddenly came out at full force. I was also stuck in a fight/flight response to life. Everything piled on top of me until I reached breaking point.

 

This was however also the turning point when I made a decision to go deep and start my 'healing journey'.

 

For me I had 2 choices back then.... I could either choose to stay in pain and sufferance or take full responsibility of my own healing. I set about to bring myself back to a fully functioning person again.

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Now fast forward to my current world.

 

After I recovered from adrenal fatigue, I did return to my marriage and set about to heal our relationship, thinking it would be better for the kids to have a more stable life. Cracks however began to resurface after our re-location to a new home/life in FNQ; and all of the previously unresolved conflict resurfaced rising to new toxic levels.  The level of volatility directed at me was unbearable and truly dysfunctional. It was the final straw for me.

 

Now for the 2nd time separated, alone and isolated away from my previous support network, I went through by far the most traumatic painful separation / divorce. Followed closely by parental alienation where my two eldest children were taken from my home unbeknownst to me and later fed fabrications of the truth to impact and break the  bond i had with them. This re triggered my anxiety all over again and I once again found myself close to collapse and burnout again.

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Through undergoing my own personal healing journey, combining kinesiology together with some acupuncture and embarking on a kind of complete mind, body detoxification program; I managed to release and let go of the aspects of me that were no longer serving my highest good. I gradually returned to my former self, but also felt stronger, more empowered with more vitality for life than I had experienced before, 

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Through my own healing journey and spiritual awakening, I feel called to help, guide and support others on their personal journey of discovery.  I absolutely to the deepest level of my core, know that energy healing work has been a part of me for much longer than just this physical life, but it took a major life health crisis for me to discover the innate healing gift which had been sitting dormant within me all along.

 

It was the kind of awakening I am eternally grateful for and know its my lifelong soul mission to share that wisdom with others who may have felt just like me at certain points in their life; stuck, exhausted, confused and desperate for answers.

 

Kinesiology as a modality does not band aid fix an issue but instead gets to the core root of an issue and helps you to heal from the inside out.

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For more information, videos, insights, jump across to my FB page

Living Balance Kinesiology.
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